I think I deserve a B on this paper, maybe a low A. It wasn't as good as it could have been, but I think I did a reasonably good job all the same. I made a clear claim about how the article is persuasive but ultimately ineffective, and I chose three specific rhetorical devices to analyze. I used sufficient examples. I think my analysis was fairly in depth, but occasionally included opinions or only touched lightly on counterarguments to my assumptions. I could have made the analysis tighter in that respect. My title was alright but a bit wordy. It could have been clearer. However, I think my introduction was pretty good and more on the A side of the rubric. My body paragraphs could have had smoother transitions between them, but overall I think the flow was decent. I think I may have had some MLA formatting errors. For example, on the works cited page I wasn't sure if I should cite the article or the book and ended up using the citation in the book. I probably have a few grammar errors throughout the paper, but I don't think it's a widespread problem.
If I had another chance, I would've focused on the structure of the paper first to make sure all the required elements ended up in every single paragraph. I would have been more specific about the audience from the very first drafts of the paper, which would give me more time to get more in depth about my analysis relating specifically to the audience. I would have been more careful about my opinions and assumptions, and I would have paid more attention to my argument straying from my thesis.
My biggest challenge was keeping my opinions on the issue out of the analysis. I've seen several documentaries about Wal-Mart on both sides and I have a pretty strong opinion on the issue, so it was hard for me to not think the audience should already be convinced. Because of that, I was making assumptions about my audience with little basis and some of my arguments fell through.
I think my paper's greatest strength is my analysis. With the opinions and assumptions removed, I think the actual analysis was pretty good. I tried to go beyond what was apparent on the surface to make it more interesting and really get at what the author was trying to get the audience to think or do or feel. I think I accomplished that for the most part.
Wednesday, October 17, 2012
Saturday, October 6, 2012
The Presidential Debates: Blog Post 5
- Obama's signature half pointing, half fist hand gestures strike a good balance between accusatory finger pointing and angry fist waving. It emphasizes his points without any negative connotations.
- Obama uses pathos to generate sympathy from the crowd by mentioning that it's his anniversary.
- Romney appeared more aware and invested in the topics throughout the entire debate, making his points seem more important.
- Romney uses pathos through touching personal examples of his and his wife's interactions with voters.
- Both candidates try to oversimplify their opponent's policies and therefore argue against them more easily.
- Romney uses repetition when talking about tax cuts and adding to the deficit.
- Both candidates cite outside sources to add to their ethos and make themselves seem less biased.
- Both use the red herring fallacy; they kept bringing up other topics and avoiding the specific questions asked by the proctor.
- Both use post hoc, assuming that the poor economic state of the country is based on Obama's or Bush's actions only.
- Both candidates use the slippery slope fallacy; Romney suggests that awful things will happen if Obama is reelected and Obama suggests the same in the case of Romney's election.
Wednesday, September 26, 2012
Blog 4 Globalization Articles
The article I chose to analyze is "Behind the 'Illegal Alien' Label, Real Kids with a Lot to Contribute". The author, Marcos Breton, is a writer for the Sacramento Bee, a newspaper published in California. His articles focus mostly on local issues and sports and are directed towards Californians and sports fans. This article isn't strictly about a local issue, but illegal aliens are more of an issue in California than in many places in the United States. He is rather liberal and disagrees with the Republican Party on many issues aside from this one. His analysis could definitely be biased because of this. His audience, California, is fairly liberal from what I understand, so he wouldn't be too worried about counterarguments and could focus more on his views.
Breton's main purpose at the beginning seems to be convincing people that so called illegal aliens need to be dealt with on a case by case basis. He brings up the point that, as mentioned in the title, many illegal aliens are students with a lot of academic promise. In fact, they often were brought into the country by their parents and had no choice in the matter. And yet, they're being punished for it. This is the main point of his article, although he expands it to include other law abiding, hardworking illegal aliens further on in his argument. He uses a somewhat casual tone throughout the article, forging a connection with his audience without hurting his credibility. Since he's a columnist for a newspaper, most of his audience is probably familiar with his writing style and expects him to write that way. He always uses quotation marks around the term illegal alien, putting focus on it as well as casting doubt on its legitimacy as a term; he refers to them as words, not the real people those words are meant to represent. It's like the opposite of personification. He uses extreme examples rather than the most common to get his point across, notably drug dealer and rapist. He uses legitimate sources to supplement his opinion and brings up vivid imagery to evoke emotions and urgency in the reader. Specifically, he relates the phrase "illegal alien" to "blood dumped in shark infested waters". He responds to counterarguments and uses words with violent connotations when describing those with a close minded view of illegal aliens.
While Breton uses many rhetorical techniques to persuade the reader of his point of view, towards the end of the article he sort of gives up. He admits that there is no great solution to the problem of illegal aliens while arguing against the opposition and accidentally hurts his own argument as well. There is no good answer. He has no solution, no action for his readers to take. At the end, he just reinforces that the current situation is unjust and depressing and sad and who knows what else. There is no solution. No call to action. In the end, Breton hurts his own argument and then fails to save it with any hint of hope or progress. He leaves the reader with an image and a story, but with nothing to do about it.
Breton's main purpose at the beginning seems to be convincing people that so called illegal aliens need to be dealt with on a case by case basis. He brings up the point that, as mentioned in the title, many illegal aliens are students with a lot of academic promise. In fact, they often were brought into the country by their parents and had no choice in the matter. And yet, they're being punished for it. This is the main point of his article, although he expands it to include other law abiding, hardworking illegal aliens further on in his argument. He uses a somewhat casual tone throughout the article, forging a connection with his audience without hurting his credibility. Since he's a columnist for a newspaper, most of his audience is probably familiar with his writing style and expects him to write that way. He always uses quotation marks around the term illegal alien, putting focus on it as well as casting doubt on its legitimacy as a term; he refers to them as words, not the real people those words are meant to represent. It's like the opposite of personification. He uses extreme examples rather than the most common to get his point across, notably drug dealer and rapist. He uses legitimate sources to supplement his opinion and brings up vivid imagery to evoke emotions and urgency in the reader. Specifically, he relates the phrase "illegal alien" to "blood dumped in shark infested waters". He responds to counterarguments and uses words with violent connotations when describing those with a close minded view of illegal aliens.
While Breton uses many rhetorical techniques to persuade the reader of his point of view, towards the end of the article he sort of gives up. He admits that there is no great solution to the problem of illegal aliens while arguing against the opposition and accidentally hurts his own argument as well. There is no good answer. He has no solution, no action for his readers to take. At the end, he just reinforces that the current situation is unjust and depressing and sad and who knows what else. There is no solution. No call to action. In the end, Breton hurts his own argument and then fails to save it with any hint of hope or progress. He leaves the reader with an image and a story, but with nothing to do about it.
Wednesday, September 19, 2012
Blog Prompt 3
I couldn't find very many errors that I hadn't already tried to fix or that specifically fit the grammar rules we covered, so I altered some sentences.
Error #1:
Original sentence: Our university has held it up as something to be feared: the bringer of stress and bad grades, failure and ultimately doomsday.
Problem: parallelism; rule- express paired items and items in a series in parallel form
Correction: Our university has held it up as something to be feared: the bringer of stress, bad grades, failure, and ultimately doomsday.
Error #2:
Original sentence: Our university has held it up as something to be feared: the bringer of stress, bad grades, failure, and ultimately doomsday.
Problem: ambiguity with pronouns; rule- avoid ambiguity with pronouns
Correction: Our university has held procrastination up as something to be feared: the bringer of stress, bad grades, failure, and ultimately doomsday.
Error #3:
Original sentence: Waiting a few minutes, or hours, or days or even weeks can seem like a small thing at the time, but it all adds up.
Problem: parallelism; rule- express paired items and items in a series in parallel form
Correction: Waiting a few minutes, hours, days, or even weeks can seem like a small thing at the time, but it all adds up.
Error #4:
Original sentence: Waiting a few minutes, hours, days, or even weeks can seem like a small thing at the time, but it all adds up.
Problem: ambiguity with pronouns; avoid ambiguity with pronouns
Correction: Waiting a few minutes, hours, days, or even weeks can seem like a small thing at the time, but all that time adds up.
Error #5:
Original sentence: Managing procrastination is like a planned snooze button wake up routine.
Problem: parallelism; verb forms should match
Correction: Managing procrastination is like planning a snooze button wake up routine.
Error #1:
Original sentence: Our university has held it up as something to be feared: the bringer of stress and bad grades, failure and ultimately doomsday.
Problem: parallelism; rule- express paired items and items in a series in parallel form
Correction: Our university has held it up as something to be feared: the bringer of stress, bad grades, failure, and ultimately doomsday.
Error #2:
Original sentence: Our university has held it up as something to be feared: the bringer of stress, bad grades, failure, and ultimately doomsday.
Problem: ambiguity with pronouns; rule- avoid ambiguity with pronouns
Correction: Our university has held procrastination up as something to be feared: the bringer of stress, bad grades, failure, and ultimately doomsday.
Error #3:
Original sentence: Waiting a few minutes, or hours, or days or even weeks can seem like a small thing at the time, but it all adds up.
Problem: parallelism; rule- express paired items and items in a series in parallel form
Correction: Waiting a few minutes, hours, days, or even weeks can seem like a small thing at the time, but it all adds up.
Error #4:
Original sentence: Waiting a few minutes, hours, days, or even weeks can seem like a small thing at the time, but it all adds up.
Problem: ambiguity with pronouns; avoid ambiguity with pronouns
Correction: Waiting a few minutes, hours, days, or even weeks can seem like a small thing at the time, but all that time adds up.
Error #5:
Original sentence: Managing procrastination is like a planned snooze button wake up routine.
Problem: parallelism; verb forms should match
Correction: Managing procrastination is like planning a snooze button wake up routine.
Saturday, September 8, 2012
Blog Post 2: Ethos, Logos, Pathos
First of all, I think I'm one of the very few girls who has never liked Pride and Prejudice... So please excuse any bias or negative vibes I have while analyzing Mr. Collins' proposal.
Ethos:
- "clergyman"- he's a religious man and therefore should theoretically know a lot about marriage. It also implies that he is a good, upstanding member of society.
- "my noble patroness Lady Catherine de Bourgh"- he brings in the advice he received from another person of high standing in society to strengthen the credibility of his own opinion. He is also establishing his connection with this person to make himself seem more important.
- "I am, to inherit all this estate after the death of your father"- he attempts to forge a connection with Elizabeth by mentioning her father. To her immediate family, he is a good choice of husband because of his inheritance and because he is their cousin. He is trying to connect on a logical, familial, financial level, and prove that he is doing this out of the goodness of his heart.
Logos:
- "inherit all this estate"- once again, it is logical for Elizabeth to marry Mr. Collins because he is inheriting her father's estate. In fact, he even says that he has to marry one of her father's daughters, and he has chosen her. Financially, it makes sense. She would be well cared for as his wife, and she could remain in her home.
- "consider that it is by no means certain that another offer of marriage may be made to you"- this may be her only chance to get married, and in a society that places marriage at the top of a woman's priority list it is logical to take that chance.
- "let her be an active, useful sort of person, not brought up too high"- Elizabeth is the type of girl Mr. Collins set out to find, and he cares for her. It makes sense to marry someone who loves you for who you are. (In truth I find this entire speech horribly unpersuasive but mostly because I don't like Mr. Collins and I really disregard most of the logical parts of marriage at this point in my life)
Pathos:
- "the violence of my affections"- Mr. Collins claims that he loves Elizabeth and makes an emotional plea for her affections. Unfortunately, that emotional plea is riddled with too much logic and possibly unintentional rudeness to have much of an effect.
- "it is by no means certain that another offer of marriage may be made to you"- This may have been meant as logic, but it comes off as rude and an attempt to frighten Elizabeth into thinking that Mr. Collins is her only possible future. The emotion of fear is brought in here, as well as a hint of desperation on his part and, he hopes, hers.
- "it will add very greatly to my happiness"- Here he tries to convince her that it will make him happy, and I'm assuming he's implying that this should also make her happy. In both a logical and emotional sense, happiness is desirable.
As for my paper, I'm altering the topic to be more about procrastinating. I haven't quite figured it out but it may involve situation theory, napping, and candy. Probably not the candy.
Ethos:
- I will admit that I procrastinate frequently, and therefore have experience with the matter. This will also show that I'm not judging those who procrastinate, since I do it too. It's a connection with the audience and a quick check to stop myself from creating false credibility.
- I am a college student (admit to being a freshman), and have been a high school student for four years, so I know the effects of procrastinating, particularly with school work.
- I will cite research from psychologists about situation theory and mind over matter to supplement my own knowledge.
Logos:
- Procrastinating is fun. Everyone does it. And yet everyone knows that they'll regret it in the end. This is clearly illogical, but people aren't always logical beings. Therefore, logically, the best way to approach this isn't the logical, straightforward way.
- Mind over matter is how most people approach procrastination; they make goals, they tell themselves they won't do it again, they make resolutions, and it never actually happens. Since this has been tried and tested over and over again and is still failing, a new approach must be considered. My suggestion is to put yourself in a situation that discourages procrastination. I will supplement this with research on the power of the situation over the individual.
- Of course, even the action of putting yourself in a motivational situation requires some initiative, and therefore a lack of procrastination. However, this is a much smaller act than stopping procrastinating as a whole, so it logically follows that it should be easier to not procrastinate. A counterargument here would be that once you get off the couch it's easy to get going, and that the first act of getting off the couch is ten times harder than everything that follows. I'm not sure how I would argue against that yet. I might end up agreeing with it.
Pathos:
- I can paint an image of how people's lives will be better if they stop procrastinating. I can also use imagery of how much worse their lives will be if they continue procrastinating or let it get out of control.
- I can subtly insult people by implying that they cannot stop procrastinating even if they really, truly put their minds to it and wanted to. Actually I might state that outright because of my situation argument.
- I can point out how much better the world will be if everyone stopped procrastinating. All the advances, all the problems that would have been worked on. I need to bring in the emotion of hope. According to the Hunger Games, hope is the only thing more powerful than fear, and clearly fear hasn't stopped procrastination thus far.
Monday, September 3, 2012
Hi and Op Ed Proposal
Hi! I'm Ariana and to start off introducing myself, I love to go barefoot. Don't get me wrong, I brought a whole box of shoes with me to BYU, but given the option I'd much rather wear no shoes at all. I understand that it's a bit gross since the ground isn't the cleanest place, but people today are really too paranoid about dirt and germs. Anyways, I'm only going on about this because I think the whole concept of going barefoot describes who I am much better than listing my favorite color and ice cream flavor, etc. Going barefoot is freedom in a small, weird way. It's unconventional, but nothing beats the feeling of grass beneath my feet. It makes me feel more connected with the world; it makes me want to run around and skip and sing and dance. It makes me happy. I know that's weird, but I've learned to appreciate the small things in life, and going barefoot is definitely one of my favorite small things. (Since the assignment included background information: lived in Utah, Massachusetts, and New Mexico; electrical engineering major; green and purple are my favorite colors; mint chocolate chip ice cream is the best)
It is commonly said that there are no atheists in trenches. Apparently, there are no atheists in the testing center during finals week either. You could say that's because this is BYU, which is probably true as far as atheism goes, but the fact remains that both students and staff refer to the testing center as the most sacred building on campus. More prayers are said there than in any other building. It's a basic fact of life: when life gets hard, people to turn to something greater than themselves. The imminent threat of death makes religious men out of soldiers, and the prospect of taking a test that you didn't study for makes for devout, prayerful students. Prayer is a great gift, and I'm proud that BYU students take advantage of it in their everyday lives. However, I find it rather shameful that the testing center and not the temple is considered the most sacred building on campus, even if the people who say that are being rather tongue in cheek. There should be no doubt about which is more important. It suggests that we, as students, are putting more focus on our test scores than our religion, even here at Brigham Young University. At a time like this when the world is scrutinizing our church more than ever before, do we really want to give that impression? The scriptures make it very clear that prayer isn't a freebie, get out of jail free deal. We have to do all that we can, and then He will make up for the rest. Doing all we can includes studying for our tests, keeping up with our work, and going to the temple. If we do all that, then a fervent prayer in the testing center is worth a shot. If not, I suppose all we can do is pray anyways, and try to remember that there is a time and a place for asking for help.
The idea of praying for tests is relevant for two reasons. It's the beginning of the school year, so the time to decide to stay on top of things and not be reduced to begging for help during finals is right now. Secondly, the election has brought a lot of attention to our church, and every little move we make is being judged by the entire country. We're going to make an impression, but it's up to us to decide if it's a good one or a bad one. The rhetorical situation at the present time is in its origin, as there is not much discussion about it. However, the "most sacred building on campus" quote comes up with nearly every professor and older student I've heard talk about testing, so it's clearly a widely known topic. Once the idea is brought up, it should be fairly controversial, since every single student has prayed during a test they should have studied for and they are likely to be defensive about that behavior.
I have to make several assumptions about my audience with this topic. I'm assuming they're Mormon or religious, they're students, they have to take tests, and they've prayed during a test they didn't study for. As a student, I have definitely done this, especially during finals week where I should have studied much more than I did. My stance on the issue, however, is that you really can't expect any help when you didn't do your part. College students often have a problem of falling behind, especially freshmen who aren't used to the workload. Instead of resorting to praying during tests, we should manage our time better and get down to the temple more often. We should make the temple where the most prayers are said and answered, not the dreaded testing center.
I will have to make many claims that will be difficult to support since I doubt there's a whole lot of research on praying for tests. However, there should be research on proper testing preparation, the mindset of doing as much as you can before bailing and asking for help, and how others view BYU and the LDS church. One of main claims I'm making is that having the testing center as the most sacred building on campus reflects negatively on the church and BYU as a whole. The reason for this is that as the next generation of the LDS church, we're pretty much expected to be perfect. Falling behind in school and relying on prayer is a very small thing, but we're being held up as examples to the world and we need to be as true to what we believe as possible. According to scripture, we believe that prayers are answered, but we have to do our part too. Another claim I'm making is that people who end up praying during tests usually didn't do everything they could to prepare for the test. I know that firstly from personal experience, from talking to other students, and I think there's always a little more everyone could have done in almost every situation. Looking at the busy campus life of BYU, it makes sense that we would have trouble balancing fun and school. I know there are people who do their best and still need a prayer to help them out, but I'm focusing my argument on the unprepared people who just rely on prayer. An assumption I may have to make but am not comfortable with is that these unprepared test takers are not spending their time at the temple or at church meetings. I'm claiming there was a better way to use their time to prepare for their tests. My reasoning for this is once again because I know how much people our age, and of all ages, tend to procrastinate. In this day and age with all the distractions of technology, never mind all the excitement on campus and in the dorms, it is incredibly likely that we are not using all of our time wisely. The creator of Facebook said it best when he told everyone off for complaining about finals on Facebook instead of studying. Another main claim I'm making is that changing this behavior will actually make a difference. While the topic seems to be about praying during tests, it's really about procrastination. The praying habit is just a manifestation of procrastination that particularly bothers me. First of all, it's common sense that not procrastinating will make your life easier. It helps us become more collected and get more done. In the end, you have more time to focus on improving yourself, and changing the world happens one person at a time. It's not the easiest way of changing the world, but at the same time it's the most feasible to start with. We're the young ones now. It's our turn to make a difference, and not procrastinating can help us along the way.
It is commonly said that there are no atheists in trenches. Apparently, there are no atheists in the testing center during finals week either. You could say that's because this is BYU, which is probably true as far as atheism goes, but the fact remains that both students and staff refer to the testing center as the most sacred building on campus. More prayers are said there than in any other building. It's a basic fact of life: when life gets hard, people to turn to something greater than themselves. The imminent threat of death makes religious men out of soldiers, and the prospect of taking a test that you didn't study for makes for devout, prayerful students. Prayer is a great gift, and I'm proud that BYU students take advantage of it in their everyday lives. However, I find it rather shameful that the testing center and not the temple is considered the most sacred building on campus, even if the people who say that are being rather tongue in cheek. There should be no doubt about which is more important. It suggests that we, as students, are putting more focus on our test scores than our religion, even here at Brigham Young University. At a time like this when the world is scrutinizing our church more than ever before, do we really want to give that impression? The scriptures make it very clear that prayer isn't a freebie, get out of jail free deal. We have to do all that we can, and then He will make up for the rest. Doing all we can includes studying for our tests, keeping up with our work, and going to the temple. If we do all that, then a fervent prayer in the testing center is worth a shot. If not, I suppose all we can do is pray anyways, and try to remember that there is a time and a place for asking for help.
The idea of praying for tests is relevant for two reasons. It's the beginning of the school year, so the time to decide to stay on top of things and not be reduced to begging for help during finals is right now. Secondly, the election has brought a lot of attention to our church, and every little move we make is being judged by the entire country. We're going to make an impression, but it's up to us to decide if it's a good one or a bad one. The rhetorical situation at the present time is in its origin, as there is not much discussion about it. However, the "most sacred building on campus" quote comes up with nearly every professor and older student I've heard talk about testing, so it's clearly a widely known topic. Once the idea is brought up, it should be fairly controversial, since every single student has prayed during a test they should have studied for and they are likely to be defensive about that behavior.
I have to make several assumptions about my audience with this topic. I'm assuming they're Mormon or religious, they're students, they have to take tests, and they've prayed during a test they didn't study for. As a student, I have definitely done this, especially during finals week where I should have studied much more than I did. My stance on the issue, however, is that you really can't expect any help when you didn't do your part. College students often have a problem of falling behind, especially freshmen who aren't used to the workload. Instead of resorting to praying during tests, we should manage our time better and get down to the temple more often. We should make the temple where the most prayers are said and answered, not the dreaded testing center.
I will have to make many claims that will be difficult to support since I doubt there's a whole lot of research on praying for tests. However, there should be research on proper testing preparation, the mindset of doing as much as you can before bailing and asking for help, and how others view BYU and the LDS church. One of main claims I'm making is that having the testing center as the most sacred building on campus reflects negatively on the church and BYU as a whole. The reason for this is that as the next generation of the LDS church, we're pretty much expected to be perfect. Falling behind in school and relying on prayer is a very small thing, but we're being held up as examples to the world and we need to be as true to what we believe as possible. According to scripture, we believe that prayers are answered, but we have to do our part too. Another claim I'm making is that people who end up praying during tests usually didn't do everything they could to prepare for the test. I know that firstly from personal experience, from talking to other students, and I think there's always a little more everyone could have done in almost every situation. Looking at the busy campus life of BYU, it makes sense that we would have trouble balancing fun and school. I know there are people who do their best and still need a prayer to help them out, but I'm focusing my argument on the unprepared people who just rely on prayer. An assumption I may have to make but am not comfortable with is that these unprepared test takers are not spending their time at the temple or at church meetings. I'm claiming there was a better way to use their time to prepare for their tests. My reasoning for this is once again because I know how much people our age, and of all ages, tend to procrastinate. In this day and age with all the distractions of technology, never mind all the excitement on campus and in the dorms, it is incredibly likely that we are not using all of our time wisely. The creator of Facebook said it best when he told everyone off for complaining about finals on Facebook instead of studying. Another main claim I'm making is that changing this behavior will actually make a difference. While the topic seems to be about praying during tests, it's really about procrastination. The praying habit is just a manifestation of procrastination that particularly bothers me. First of all, it's common sense that not procrastinating will make your life easier. It helps us become more collected and get more done. In the end, you have more time to focus on improving yourself, and changing the world happens one person at a time. It's not the easiest way of changing the world, but at the same time it's the most feasible to start with. We're the young ones now. It's our turn to make a difference, and not procrastinating can help us along the way.
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